my peace begins with me
prioritizing peace over productivity
Upon reflecting on recent weeks, and more time in nature with my family, this sweet, yet potent reminder poured through for you. Almost always ‘less is more’ for me but here more feels like more. Enjoy my long form without squishy word counts. Get yourself a beverage (some libation inspiration here), settle in, and enjoy.
How did Peace become a priority behind productivity?
A question that has been on loop. At some point, doing came in line ahead of being: the way I am being. Asked another way: why does my Peace take a back seat to things that are more ‘productive’?
If I just get that one more errand ticked off my list, or if I just fill out that one form, toss in that one more load in the washer, or send that one last email, then I will feel better.
So we…
Skip a few minutes lying down belly breathing. Skip a yoga stretch. Leave the meditation for tomorrow. Forget the bath.
“It’s fine…I will do it when I have more time”
If this resonates, read on.
photo from summer 2019 by Barbara Stoneham
Conditioning has it that productivity means more than Peace.
Being productive takes priority over taking time for Peace.
A checked-off to-do list is more gratifying than choosing to take time to cultivate Peace.
Multi-tasking and being consumed by busy-ness is more of a badge of honour and of more significance than choosing time for peaceful, re-centering moments.
I know this to be true AND I still get tripped up sometimes here, and spin into the vortex of “doing more” is better.
But is it?
Of course we have things to do. Of course we have times we set aside for being productive. It’s important. It helps us move forward.
AND, what’s often missing is time for being peaceful, and releasing the need to be productive all the time.
This won’t resonate with everyone, but for those it does, this likely runs deep. Many of us were or are rewarded for our productivity, be in the workplace or in the home.
“Oh, that Christine, she’s on fire all the time. She gets more done in a half day than Mary does in a week.”
And productivity often can lead to “success” but at what cost? This is the trap many of us have been in. Super productive, incredible at multitasking, successful, and totally burnt out, with no inner connection.
photo from summer 2019 by Barbara Stoneham
photo from summer 2019 by Barbara Stoneham
Although it’s been many moons since I’ve been there, I’ve been there many times.
And in truth, now, at this stage of my life, taking 15 minutes to be, and to cultivate peace within me, is far more ‘productive’ than checking that one final thing off my list, or writing that one final email when I have a free moment.
What’s with the obsession?
We were rewarded for it.
We were seen by those we revered for it.
We were created “successful” because of it.
It made us “good.”
And what do we get out of it?
Productivity can give us a sense of control. It can help us feel like we’re “doing” everything we can to obtain a certain outcome. It can contribute to feeling worthy, accomplished, purposeful.
We are being invited to change the narrative. To take time to tend to our own peace – the peace that our children feel when we put them to bed, the peace we can find to keep us calm when our mind is going off the deep end, the peace you hope for when you finally get on holidays but you can’t relax because you actually don’t know how, the peace you can offer your partner or family member because you have it to give.
I laugh at myself now when I still get caught in the dance. Ohhhh but wouldn’t it feel soooo goooood to have a clean car for the weekend, instead of lying on the grass and doing a 10 minute meditation?
So how do we as women begin to cultivate more peace in our day-to-day and make it a priority?
Firstly, set a time for it in your calendar. Perhaps start with 5 minutes. And commit to being peaceful for 5-10 minutes/day. You will shift even in this short of time.
Second, distractions pull us away from our peace of mind. I witnessed this on vacation in France this summer.
I decided to delete my Instagram app on the second week of our holiday. No social media. I wanted to create more time for being, not being distracted. I find Instagram very distracting. And how did I fill that time and void – I felt more present in moments with myself, my husband, my girls. I read 2.5 novels. Most notably, I felt in my body how distractions steal my peace from me.
What a gift to witness this.
I truly value a peaceful state of mind.
Peace doesn’t often go on the back burner for me.
Over time I’ve intentionally released a lot of things in my life that take my peace of mind. For me it was alcohol, a business that required me 7 days/week, over-scheduling my life, I could go on. The things that take yours might be different than the ones that I know take mine.
With Peace, I’m choosing it again, and again, and again.
The irony is that feeling peace of mind creates more for me to give.
When I’m more at peace I have a different state of mind when I’m being productive.
When I’m more at peace I have a different state of mind when I’m parenting.
When I’m more at peace I have a different state of mind when life feels overwhelming.
Our peace is essential.
Glorifying busy, chronic multi-tasking, prioritizing productivity over peace — these don’t feel like admirable attributes anymore.
It feels over.
photo from summer 2019 by Barbara Stoneham
The metric is off.
How we measure success for ourselves is off.
Let’s re-define what success is for ourselves.
How is it that we feel “better” about ourselves when we’ve had a productive day. The measure of success is rooted in how much we got done, versus, how we were “ being” that day.
Was I being the human I want to be today?
Was I in alignment with how I wanted to show up and how I wanted to feel?
“What I got done” is outcome-based, linear, measurable, structured in masculine energy.
Being. Tending to my own Peace. That is in flow, immeasurable, and dripping in feminine energy.
Take Summer to test this out.
Summer is a beautiful time to practice adding more Peace and peaceful awareness practices into your day because by nature summer is slower, more easeful, spacious and open. You may have some holidays to work this into.
I’m choosing more peace and more spaciousness into my way of living this summer, and it’s a practice. I have to ensure I don’t fall into my default settings of “doing” to feel (insert your feeling: successful, worthy, productive, purposeful).
Productivity isn’t wrong. It’s not bad. It’s necessary! Masculine ‘doing’ energy has its place without question. We’ve just swung the pendulum too far in one direction and we’re so far outside of our own nature, and from valuing and prioritizing our own peace.
I encourage you to set aside time this summer to tend to your own peace. Let it be whatever is peaceful to you – reading a novel midday, breathing for 10 minutes, meditation, prayer, slow yoga, lying in the grass looking up at the sky, walking barefoot slowly in nature, slow cooking.
And when you blow it — you forget, or you exclusively have your productive pants on, forgive yourself, and begin again.
Peace is going get us closer to where and who we want to be.
Productivity is not.
Our world needs more inner peace makers.
I hope this give you permission to consider shifting your priorities and sinking into the feeling of the inner peace that already exists within you.
Here is a short 6-minute Peace Practice I created, an audio meditation. Enjoy.